Tallest building in the world? Check. Fastest roller coaster in the world? Check. Largest dancing fountain show in the world? Check. A public transport system that is effective? Erm, let me get back to you on that one…
You see, when you move to Dubai you quickly understand why it is one of the best cities in the world to live in, with it boasting superlatives on a whole range of different feats but…you will also come to realise that without a driver’s license or a car you will quickly be funding the Careem taxi drivers’ staff night out.
With Dubai constantly expanding and building in a variety of areas, it seems that the rate of public transport growth hasn’t been able to expand at the same pace (wow I sounded intelligent there). As a result, if you don’t live in the central hub then you are pretty much gubbed for getting around.
Therefore, my initial plan of sorting out some ‘sick wheels’ when I returned to my love Dubai for the new academic year was looking more and more like the plan for me to look like Megan Fox for the summer break – unachievable.
While I didn’t need to drive to work, I did need to drive to: netball training and games twice a week, social events with friends, dates with Mr. Buff and a supermarket every once in a while. Plus, I actually enjoyed driving. The thrill of not knowing whether you would survive a journey or not (is that just me?) was something I missed. But, where to start?
As usual – as with all my problems that need solved in Dubai – I found myself at the door of Miss N, my hub of all Dubai knowledge. And, as expected, Miss N had all the information I needed and more.
Now, obviously, you can buy a car. However, if you are as poor as me and still find yourself in the age old debate of a night out or food for the week, then purchasing was not an option. No. The clear option for me was renting and it is an option that many expats choose in Dubai including Miss N. This meant that she had all of the rental company information that I needed to get this show on the road (pun intended).
The great thing about renting in Dubai is that because there are so many rental company options – Dollar, Shift, Prestige – the monthly cost of renting isn’t one of the superlatives they boast about (in plain terms for anyone that doesn’t understand – claiming the award for most expensive. You are welcome). This means that peasants like me are able to afford wheels without having to use them to escape the police for missing several of the monthly payments…Excellent, right?
However, having no clue which rental company was better than the other, I chose to go the same as Miss N – as besties do everything together, duh? – and resolved myself to Dollar. But, which car to choose? Did I want the Lamborghini? The Mercedes? The camel with the engine attached to it?
Yet, this was one decision that my indecisive self was not going to struggle with. The car for me was obvious. The sexy, the sultry, the sensational – and the cheapest to rent monthly – Nissan Sunny was the chosen one. I already couldn’t wait to begin my lifelong dream of looking like a taxi driver; maybe even make some extra cash on the side, who knows?
With the rental company selected and the make now selected, it was less than 24 hours before I found myself, once again, sat comfortably behind the wheel of a car. And that’s when I heard the tannoy: Welcome to the F1 Grand Prix track: Dubai. Where every day on the track is all out war.
While getting the car was relatively easy, it turned out that my biggest challenge would be driving, or, rather, competing on the roads. And, like F1, if you don’t show what you can do straight away, then, as a new driver you’re out. Crash helmets at the ready.
Your first challenge that you will have to get to grips with straight away is driving on the wrong side of the road (if you are from the UK that is). Unless, of course, you’re the wife of a US diplomat in which case drive whichever way you want…
Once you’ve succeeded in overcoming this, your second challenge comes in the form of navigating the Dubai roads. With many of the road designs resembling the squiggly lines of a crayon drawing by a kid, it can be extremely daunting and disorientating at first. Sharp exits, confusing junction merges combined with six lane motorways would make for a great car racing game on the X-box but not so great for real life. It’s like trying to follow a sniffer dog at a festival – all over the place. But, even this is something that after a few tentative drives on the road you will get used to.
Where the biggest challenge comes is trying to retain that all important P1 position and to do that you need to be aggressive. Think Max Verstappen levels of aggression when he crashed into Lewis Hamilton in Monza. The cars on the roads here don’t take any prisoners and will do anything to move up the track. That includes undercutting, flashing their lights constantly and basically being a bawhair away from their car touching your bumper.
However, this is only relevant if you, like me, enjoy life in the fast lane. Otherwise, you should pretty much be able to avoid the road warfare amongst those drivers trying to claim themselves as champion of Dubai – I will get that crown one day (shakes fist angrily).
But, even competing in the fast lane was something I got used to and before I knew it I was a seasoned driver on the Dubai roads weaving my way from one place to another as though I had driven them all my life; tunes blasting, window down, friend in the passenger side holding on to their seat until their knuckles turned white – it was an all-round success.
If only Lewis Hamilton could say the same about his time in the UAE…
